Friday, May 6, 2011

Skinny Jeans

If you are male and wearing skinny jeans right now, I have one question for you: How long have you been gay for? Not that there is anything wrong with being of the homosexual ilk, but come on boys, you're sending out the wrong signals here!

Forget v-neck shirts and emo-bangs, nothing can turn a man from burly to girlie like a pair of skinny jeans. Where did allegedly straight men get the idea that wearing tight, arse hugging women's pants was a good look? Showing off your little chicken legs isn't too impressive.

I can't imagine that the whole thing is too kind to the reproductive system either. But that could be a good thing, because it's probably for the best that these "men" don't contribute offspring to interfere with the gene pool.

Give your balls a break and go buy some real pants!

Going barefoot in public

I don't see anyone who walks around barefoot in public as a functioning member of society. People who do this are no more than lazy disease spreading derelicts and need a good slap around the head. It is dead-set one of the worst habits I can think of.

I'm cool with walking around the house without shoes, and we all know wearing shoes at the beach is pretty much un-Australian (mainly because it's fucking near impossible). But I see people every single day walking down the street, buying food and even in full on shopping centres barefoot!

How can you possibly walk out of your house and not even fathom covering you feet? If ancient civilisations that were scared of the fucking moon can figure out covering your feet is a good thing, surely Shazza from Glendale should too.

Think of how much shit (literally and metaphorically) must be on the ground, that these dirty bastards are stomping in and carrying along. And then subsequently taking it into friends homes. Shit, I don't think I will walk around my own place shoe-less now...

How hard is it to go to Go-Lo and buy a $2 pair of thongs? Have some fucking respect for your health and for others. Or I'll put on my steel-capped boots and forget to watch my step...