Monday, December 19, 2011

Pets on Facebook

I'm shocked and appalled that people go to the trouble of creating Facebook accounts for their pets. What is the fucking point? Organising walkies? Cat-nip parties?

It's quite sad how people then tag their pet in photos and check ins. Even worse is when they sign in as their pet to make comments and status updates. If anyone ever sees me doing this, they have my permission to cover me in dog food and throw me to a pack of Dobermans.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Baby names

My previous post about baby updates on Facebook got me thinking about the stupid names that parents give their kids these days. So I have begun compiling a list of names that should never under any circumstances be allocated to a poor unsuspecting newborn.

So there is now a page on here completely dedicated to such names. If you can think of any that need to be on there, please let me know!

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Baby updates on Facebook

Your baby just rolled over. Wow, that is amazing. Honestly... who gives a fuck? So has every other baby in history. What's that, your baby just said the word 'Centrelink'? Congratulations, but is anyone surprised?

If I want to know the ins and outs of your babies life, I'll fucking add IT to Facebook. In fact, the creators of Facebook should create Babybook (or Facebaby?), and the sole purpose is for you to make a profile for your baby and everyone who wants to know when it shits, cries or sleeps can add it and share your maternal joy.

I totally understand how amazing and unreal the experience of creating life and bringing it into the world is. And Facebook is a great way to tell the world about that. But there are bloody limits! Share pics of your baby at special points in it's life, not every 30 fucking minutes.

I'm Facebook friends with you, not your kid. Once it's old enough to supply me with alcohol, then I'll hit the add button!