Saturday, December 3, 2011

Baby updates on Facebook

Your baby just rolled over. Wow, that is amazing. Honestly... who gives a fuck? So has every other baby in history. What's that, your baby just said the word 'Centrelink'? Congratulations, but is anyone surprised?

If I want to know the ins and outs of your babies life, I'll fucking add IT to Facebook. In fact, the creators of Facebook should create Babybook (or Facebaby?), and the sole purpose is for you to make a profile for your baby and everyone who wants to know when it shits, cries or sleeps can add it and share your maternal joy.

I totally understand how amazing and unreal the experience of creating life and bringing it into the world is. And Facebook is a great way to tell the world about that. But there are bloody limits! Share pics of your baby at special points in it's life, not every 30 fucking minutes.

I'm Facebook friends with you, not your kid. Once it's old enough to supply me with alcohol, then I'll hit the add button!

1 comment:

  1. What? You don't want to have minute-by-minute updates on someone else's child? What's wrong with you? Not having children yourself means you are already deprived from their preciousness. I've heard that no ones life is complete without the joy of their presence.